We Are Both Right

Finding out baby’s gender… No. Um, I mean YES!

Consider me a find-out-the-sex-of-baby-via-sonogram convert.

I started off not wanting to know the gender of my first child in advance. Finding out baby’s gender was unnecessary, a spoiler in fact. We were ready with names for a boy or a girl. The baby registry was chock full of neutral clothes and gear.

That is until our 20 week sonogram when the tech said, “Do you want to know now or forever hold your peace?”

What can I say? It was a emotionally-charged (read: weak) moment. I caved and my husband happily obliged.

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Minutes later we were asked to take a guess at what we thought we saw on the screen. Figuring the tech wouldn’t have lobbed the question if she didn’t think we had a good shot of actually seeing something, I stared definitively at what turned out to be his kidneys, and said boy. “No doubt about it,” she replied, as my husband started blubbering about toy trains and football season tickets.

A moment I’ll never forget — just like his birth 19 weeks later. And what I came to learn was that there are so many “surprises” related to delivering a baby, this one wasn’t missed. I was just so happy to see him wriggling and crying that nothing else mattered.

Fast forward four-and-a-half years, and we find out that we’re expecting again. From the start, neither of us even had to ask — we would be finding out baby’s gender as soon as possible. There were boxes of boy clothes in the attic and a room to paint. Our family life was firmly rooted around all things boy — would we need to start thinking about dance classes and hair bows? In all honesty, we also both admitted that we were scared of raising a girl (and the drama that appeared to come with it) and needed some time to mentally prepare if that were the case.

So wouldn’t you know, with the three of us peering at the monitor up above, the tech caught a good glimpse and excitedly announced: “You’re having a girl!”


Little L. was so pleased with himself because he had guessed right. We asked the tech if she was sure. Boy, was I glad we had this sonogram — because a few days later, when our heads stopped spinning, we knew we were much better off getting used to the idea of having a daughter before she was born. By the time she arrived, it wasn’t such a foreign world. Good thing, because now three years old, she’s as sassy as she is sweet and we always need to be a step ahead.

The option of finding out baby’s gender is certainly tempting, as I found out. And sometimes it takes another bit of news to bring you to that point, like finding out you are expecting multiples. Several friends changed their minds about finding out the sexes of their babies at that point, figuring they were going to need every opportunity to prepare in advance. (Except my sister-in-law who made it clear when she passed the 20-week mark that she would NOT be finding out the gender of her twins. Three combinations of names, lots of yellow and green clothes to hunt down, and neutral bedding all around, they’re ready to welcome their sons/daughters/son and daughter into the world when the babies are good and ready to appear in the flesh. I’m OK with it, but we are worried about my shopaholic mother-in-law who is beside herself because there are so few neutral options in the stores.)

Come to think of it though, my husband and I have been the only ones among our siblings and friends to rely on a sonogram for an early peek at baby’s gender. And I’d probably do it again.


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