We Are Both Right

Following a One Kid/One Room Formula

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In Amanda's house, siblings do not share a bedroom. How about in yours? ©veralu/stock.xchng

I can pretty much guarantee that my husband and I won’t be adding a fourth child to our brood. And while I have plenty of physical, emotional and financial reasons to keep that promise, my grounds are really driven by aesthetics.

We have three kids. We have four bedrooms in our house. We have no desire to move for the moment. Ergo, we will not be having any more children.

I understand that siblings sharing a room is hardly the end of the word, that millions (billions) do it all the time and grow up to live normal, happy existences, but for me, giving my kids their own room — a space that they can call entirely their own — is really important.

Houses are a public space. Our house isn’t tremendous and unless no one else is home, it’s rare that you find yourself alone in any room in the house (not counting the bathroom). I feel like giving kids their own room is giving them a haven. A place where their stuff stays safe, away from the prying hands and eyes of siblings; a place where they can sit and read or listen to music or just in silence; a place where they can just be alone. More importantly, their own room is also a place where they can keep their own mess and their own bedtime.

The funny thing is, I don’t think either of my older children would mind sharing a room with their younger brother at all. In fact, I think they would welcome it. When I was pregnant, we didn’t know what we were having. My son and daughter would fight with each other on whose room the baby would sleep in. Never mind that they were eight and six years older than their soon-to-be-born sibling. For them, the thought of having the baby in their room was terrific. (The baby, a boy, wound up sleeping in mine and my husband’s room for a little over a year, then we did some room swapping where we lost our office.)

Now that their baby sibling is a little brother (and one going through the toddler years at that), they still say they want to share a room with him, but their pleas are a bit less enthusiastic.

How does it work in your house? Did you share a room with a sibling when you were growing up?

While Suzanne’s kids don’t share a room, she wouldn’t mind it if they needed to.

Originally published October 3, 2011

3 Responses to “Following a One Kid/One Room Formula”

  1. Lori says:

    You saying that kids having their own rooms allows them to have their own bedtimes reminded me of my friend’s children. They are brother and sister, two years apart, and are nearly inseparable. They each have their own huge, awesome bedrooms, and yet, more often than not end up sleeping in the same room. The problem is that the girl wants to sleep until 8am while the boy has always (always!) been a 5am riser. Still, they love going to bed in the same room at night. Go figure.

  2. Romy says:

    My older guy is dying to share a room with the little one and both of their rooms are big enough to do it, but I like that the little guy will hang in his crib (for a little while longer until the new little guys shows up) and entertain himself in the morning while my big guy is up at the crack of dawn playing legos and bouncing nerf balls off his walls in a separate locale. Maybe in a year …

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