We Are Both Right

I’m Not a Referee, Nor Do I Play One at Home

©alfredo-9/stock.xchng

When it comes to sibling rivalry, do you get involved or let the kids battle it out? ©alfredo-9/stock.xchng

A half hour. That’s how long my kids were home on their last day of school when I made them turn off the television and go to their rooms.

Why? Because they were fighting of course. Over what, I have no idea. Does it matter? If I want to stay sane, it shouldn’t.

Thirty freakin’ minutes. As I said to them on the day in question, “Are we really going to do this all summer?”

I have three children — a 10-year-old boy, an eight-year-old girl and a two-year-old boy. For all intents and purposes, let’s leave the little guy out of it for now and focus on the older two. (Although I had to stop in the middle of writing this because that sweet toddler bashed his sister in the back with a bat. But that’s a different problem.)

While for the most part they get along pretty well, they definitely have their moments when they are nothing more than oil and water. It’s natural of course — not liking the person that looks and sounds like you, the person who is your chief competitor in practically everything — television and video game selection, snack choices, the best seat on the couch, mom and dad’s love and attention, etc. etc. etc.

And sometimes, a person can rub you the wrong way by simply sitting there, not doing anything at all. Breathing. And if that particular person happens to live with you and you are with them practically 24/7, it’s not unreasonable to think that maybe they might get on your nerves a little bit.

Although when they are fighting over something silly (and trust me, at this age, it’s all silly) they might just get on my nerves a little bit.

So what do I do? Unless there is physical harm involved, nothing. And even then, unless it’s serious, they get sent to their rooms. Because if I got involved in every single one of their squabbles I would really get nothing done. And they would never learn. By letting them work out their differences on their own, I think (I hope) they are learning important conflict resolutions skills that will stay with them as they get older. (Provided they don’t think that pummeling their work colleague with a hail of Nerf gun bullets is acceptable.)

What’s your take on sibling rivalry? Do you get involved in any squabbles that your children might have?

Suzanne is more likely to get involved when her kids are fighting. I’m not sure which method — mine or hers — is less likely to raise a person’s blood pressure.