We Are Both Right

Best of: Things Parents Say

red barn

"Whaddya think, we live in a barn or something?" and other great parenting one-liners... ©Robert Walker/stock.xchng

You promised yourself it would never happen. And then one day it does.

Your parent’s words come out of your mouth.

Maybe it’s a phrase that makes you sound like a cranky pants instead of the progressive parent with a degree in positive reinforcement that you are. In some cases, it’s a saying that your kids won’t have a hope of understanding now (i.e. “You sound like a broken record.”)

But the first time it happens, it’s almost like a rite of passage. You have officially adopted the universal, age-old vocabulary of parenting. And when you hear other parents using the same lines as you (like my husband and I often do), it makes you wonder if somewhere along the way there really was a parenting handbook that had to be memorized.

I never got a copy, but it’s not too late to start the e-version. So here goes…

Why do I think that you just might have a few to add?

  • She’s not my kid, you are.
  • What do you think, we live in a barn?
  • Money doesn’t grow on trees.
  • I’m going to make you friends (perfect for siblings who are anything but)
  • Just wait until we get home.
  • I don’t have a refrigerator in here (my mom’s famous line that I’ve pulled out whenever my kids ask me for a chocolate milk, peanut butter sandwich, or a piece of cheese while we’re walking through a store and it’s obvious that all I have on me is my purse).
  • I’ll give you something to cry about (my personal favorite).
  • Hold your horses.
  • As long as you’re living under my roof…
  • Someday you’ll thank me.
  • Someday I hope your kids act like this for you.
  • You should be a lawyer (my Dad’s career advice to me at the age of five).
  • Don’t make me stop this car.
  • Why? Because I said so.
  • Watch out or your face will freeze like that.
  • Hay is for horses (handed straight down from my mom to my daughter, who thinks this saying is the cat’s meow).
  • This isn’t a democracy. It’s a dictatorship.

I haven’t had to use them all yet, but you just never know when these words of wisdom might come in handy. In the meantime, what are your favs?